Choosing between an elopement vs. wedding is a deeply personal decision, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. While some couples dream of a grand celebration with family and friends, others prefer the intimacy and adventure of an elopement. If you’re wondering, “Should I elope or have a traditional wedding?”, this guide will help you weigh the pros and cons, compare costs, and provide planning tips for both options. Whether you’re drawn to an intimate wedding or a full-scale event, let’s break down what each entails so you can make the best choice for your love story.
Before we compare, let’s define each option:
Elopement: A deeply intentional way to get married, where the focus is on celebrating your relationship in a way that feels authentic to you. This could mean just the two of you or a small, intimate gathering in a meaningful or adventurous location. If you’re the type of person who craves adventure, values experiences over traditions, and would rather spend your wedding day soaking in intimate moments than managing a giant event, an elopement might be for you. You probably love the idea of keeping things simple yet meaningful, focusing on the connection between you and your partner rather than the expectations of a big crowd. Maybe you’re someone who thrives on spontaneity and freedom, preferring a breathtaking mountain vista or a secluded beach at sunrise over a formal ballroom. You might feel a little overwhelmed (or totally uninterested) in the thought of planning a huge wedding, coordinating guest lists, or sticking to rigid timelines. Instead, you dream of a day that’s all about you two, filled with authentic moments, deep emotions, and a sense of adventure. If you’d rather spend your budget on an unforgettable experience—like traveling to a dream destination, taking an epic road trip, or planning a once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon—rather than on catering for 200 guests, then eloping could be exactly what you’re looking for. At the end of the day, you just want your wedding to feel right, not forced, and an elopement allows you to create a day that’s uniquely yours.
Traditional Wedding: A structured wedding event with a larger guest list, often including a ceremony, reception, and various formalities such as first dances, speeches, and cake cutting. The focus is typically on guest experience and long-standing traditions. If you’ve always dreamed of walking down the aisle surrounded by family and friends, celebrating with all of your favorite people, and dancing the night away at a big reception, then a traditional wedding might be for you. You love the idea of honoring traditions, from the first dance and heartfelt speeches to the grand exit at the end of the night. Maybe you’re someone who enjoys bringing people together and can’t imagine saying “I do” without your loved ones there to witness the moment. You might love event planning and details, getting excited about picking the perfect venue, designing floral arrangements, and curating a wedding day that’s both stunning and sentimental. The idea of sharing this milestone with your closest family and friends feels meaningful to you—after all, weddings aren’t just about the couple, they’re also about celebrating your journey, your history, and your future with your community. If you picture yourself in a beautiful gown or suit, dancing with your loved ones, cutting a gorgeous wedding cake, and reliving the best night of your life in an album full of amazing photos, then a traditional wedding is likely the perfect fit for you. At the end of the day, you want your wedding to be an unforgettable experience for not just you, but for everyone you love.
Both choices lead to the same outcome—committing your lives to each other—but the journey, experience, and focus of the day are vastly different.
Cost Comparison: Elopement vs. Traditional Wedding
✅ Total Estimated Cost: $2,000–$10,000
Eloping is often seen as the budget-friendly alternative to a traditional wedding, but costs can vary widely depending on how extravagant or simple you want the experience to be. On average, an elopement can cost anywhere from $2,000 to $10,000, with key expenses including a marriage license, officiant, photographer, videographer, travel, attire, and accommodations. However, there are some hidden costs couples might not initially consider, such as permits for certain locations (especially national parks), travel expenses like flights and rental cars, vendor travel fees if hiring a photographer or officiant from out of town, and potential weather-related backup plans. If you’re eloping in a remote or international destination, you might also need to budget for legal paperwork, travel insurance, and currency exchange fees. On the flip side, eloping can save you thousands by cutting out venue rental fees, catering for hundreds of guests, decorations, and entertainment. Some couples even repurpose their elopement budget for a dream honeymoon, a down payment on a house, or future travel experiences together. Ultimately, while elopements can be more cost-effective than a big wedding, being mindful of hidden expenses will help ensure your dream day stays within budget.
✅ Total Estimated Cost: $20,000–$50,000+
A traditional wedding can quickly become a major financial investment, with the average cost ranging from $20,000 to $50,000+, depending on location, guest count, and vendor choices. The biggest expenses typically include venue and catering (often $10,000–$30,000 alone), photography and videography ($3,000–$8,000), floral arrangements ($2,000–$6,000), and entertainment ($1,000–$5,000). However, one of the biggest cost factors is guest count—every additional person means more meals, drinks, tables, chairs, invitations, favors, and sometimes even a larger venue, which can cause costs to rise exponentially. Many venues also charge by the hour, so if your reception runs late or you decide to extend the party, you could be hit with additional fees for venue rental, bar service, and staff overtime. Other hidden expenses include vendor gratuities, permits, transportation for guests, last-minute decor upgrades, and unexpected alterations for attire. It’s easy for costs to creep up when adding extra elements like late-night snacks, premium bar service, a larger floral installation, or specialty rentals like lounge seating and photo booths. While traditional weddings are a beautiful way to celebrate with family and friends, they require careful budgeting to avoid unexpected financial surprises.
Still unsure? Ask yourself:
1️⃣ Do we want an intimate or large celebration? 2️⃣ Are we comfortable with the cost of a big wedding, or do we prefer to save for our future? 3️⃣ Do we want more flexibility in how and where we say our vows? 4️⃣ How much stress are we willing to take on? 5️⃣ How important is it to have family and friends present?
📌 Choose a Meaningful Location – Find a place that represents your love story. 📌 Hire a Photographer/Videographer – Capture the experience beautifully. 📌 Check Marriage License Requirements – Every state/country has different rules. 📌 Plan Attire for the Environment – Dress accordingly for outdoor settings. 📌 Consider a Post-Elopement Celebration – Host a small dinner or party afterward.
Eloping gives you the freedom to create a wedding day that actually feels like you, without the pressure of a big traditional event. But even with a laid-back, intimate vibe, there are some details that can easily get overlooked. First, don’t forget to check the legal stuff—marriage license rules vary by state (or country), and some locations require permits, especially if you’re planning to elope in a national park or a scenic spot. Weather is another big one—if you’re dreaming of an epic mountain view or a beachside ceremony, make sure you have a backup plan in case nature throws a curveball. If your elopement spot involves hiking or off-road travel, think about logistics like comfortable attire, transportation, and making sure your photographer can actually get there with you. Even if it’s just the two of you, consider how you’ll share the moment with family—whether that’s a livestream, personal letters, or a post-elopement celebration. And if golden-hour photos are a priority, work with your photographer to time everything just right. A little planning goes a long way in making sure your elopement is stress-free and unforgettable. Let me know if you need any recommendations—I’d love to help bring your vision to life.
📌 Create a Budget Early – Prioritize key expenses and stay within your means. 📌 Book High-Demand Vendors Early – Venues, photographers, and caterers book fast. 📌 Use a Wedding Planner or Coordinator – Helps keep everything on track. 📌 Personalize the Experience – Incorporate elements that reflect your relationship. 📌 Plan for Guest Comfort – Ensure good seating, food, and entertainment options.
Planning a traditional wedding is exciting, but it can also get overwhelming fast if you don’t stay ahead of the details. Beyond the big things like booking your venue and photographer, there are a lot of small but important factors that can make or break your day. One of the biggest things people forget? Timing. Whether it’s making sure your ceremony lighting is ideal for photos, allowing extra time for getting ready, or factoring in delays for guests, a solid timeline is key. Guest count also plays a huge role in costs—every extra person means more food, seating, and space, so be realistic about who you actually want there. If you’re hosting an outdoor wedding, always have a solid rain plan in place, and if you’re going big with the decor, check what your venue actually allows before getting attached to a vision that might not be possible. Another thing couples overlook is vendor overtime—if your party runs late, you could be hit with extra fees for your venue, photographer, and catering staff. And don’t forget guest logistics—think about how people will get from one place to another, if parking is easy, and whether older family members will need special seating. Traditional weddings come with a lot of moving parts, but with the right planning, you can make sure it’s a day that feels effortless and fun. Let me know if you need help figuring out the details—I’d love to make sure everything comes together exactly how you want.
At the end of the day, there’s no one-size-fits-all way to get married—only the way that feels right for you. Whether that means exchanging vows on a secluded mountaintop with just the two of you or celebrating with a packed dance floor full of your favorite people, your wedding should reflect your relationship, your values, and what truly makes you happy. An elopement is perfect for couples who crave intimacy, adventure, and the freedom to do things their own way—no strict timelines, no pressure to please a crowd, just a day designed completely around your love. It’s about stripping away expectations and focusing on the raw, meaningful moments that matter most. On the other hand, a traditional wedding can be an incredible opportunity to bring together the people who have shaped your life, celebrating not just your relationship, but the journey that got you there. There’s something undeniably special about being surrounded by family and friends, sharing laughter, heartfelt toasts, and a once-in-a-lifetime kind of celebration.
At its core, your wedding should feel like an extension of who you are—not something you’re doing because you feel like you should. If the thought of planning a huge event stresses you out and you’d rather spend the day completely immersed in each other, then eloping might be the best choice for you. But if you’ve always imagined dancing with your loved ones, having your dad walk you down the aisle, or sharing your vows in front of your closest family and friends, then a big wedding might be the perfect fit. Neither option is better than the other—it all comes down to what feels the most meaningful to you.
No matter what you choose, make it yours. Forget about what social media, family, or wedding traditions tell you that you “should” do. The only thing that truly matters is that your wedding day is a reflection of your love story—the way you want to celebrate it, with the people (or lack of people) that make sense for you. So whether you’re hiking up a mountain at sunrise, exchanging vows in a cozy Airbnb, or dancing under twinkling lights at a big reception, as long as it feels right for you, you’re doing it exactly right.
©Andrew Alexander Photography 2023, all rights reserved.
Portland, Oregon Wedding Photographer based in Vancouver, Washington.
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